A concept that really stood out to me in this chapter was the personalized communication language where you use “I” statements rather than “you”. I never really took time to realize how much of a difference using I instead of you can make. Using you statements “emphasizes what we think is wrong with the other instead of identifying our feelings” (76). When we identify our feelings rather than pointing out the other persons flaws, we can better communicate with them.
I think that if I start expressing what I feel, instead of pointing out the bad things other people do, I will not have as much bad conflict; rather I will have good constructive conflict where we express our feelings and don’t point the finger at each other. This is something I will try to work better on and I will see what difference it makes in my communication with others.
You don't really realize how a sentence can be taken differently just by replacing those two words with one another. When you constantly tell someone "you" in conflict then it is like putting blame. Then you can talk about how something makes you feel instead of telling them what they did it can make the person see what they said in a different approach.
ReplyDeleteNobody wants to know what they did wrong or said wrong but I think in general as people we don't want to cause pain or hurt to others.